


hyacinth.

by shuanime



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Jisoo In Denial, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Open to Interpretation, Sexuality Crisis, Tags May Change, just jisoo being in denial really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-01 07:40:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20811485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shuanime/pseuds/shuanime
Summary: Jeonghan and Jisoo have been in each other’s company since they were babies. Both of them succeeded their family businesses left to them by their parents who jumped on early retirement and are now living a carefree life in a faraway town.So now…Jisoo is a shopkeeper of a liquor store and Jeonghan, a tobacconist.(Inspired by "Liquor & Cigarette" by Zaria)





	hyacinth.

Drifting from Jeonghan’s long black hair which flows in waves, _always_, was the scent of the lavender shampoo that he uses and the hint of cigarettes’ tobacco. He can’t be smelled by Jisoo, really, from across the street. But it’s a scent that Jisoo will always remember. A scent that’s engraved in his mind forever.

Jisoo is, no matter how much he wants to deny it, lazing around. The liquor store he’s keeping is not as popular in the afternoon as it is during the night. Jeonghan’s tobacco store from across the street, however, will always have customers regardless of time.

The cigarette store and its endless patrons. Sometimes Jisoo thinks the ones that come from the outside of the city are not really there for the cigarettes. They’re there for Jeonghan.

He watches from his store window as two ladies greet a smoking Jeonghan seated in front of the tobacco store. Jeonghan greets them with that smug, easy smile that he always has on his face and a trail of smoke from the lit cigarette in between his fingers. Jisoo can’t hear what they’re talking about, but judging by the way the ladies giggle behind their hands, Jeonghan turned on the charm.

They obviously aren’t smokers, yet they’re there. Jisoo admires their will, perhaps.

Jeonghan enters the store after the ladies, and they engage in small talk, the long-haired man behind the counter making them laugh more. After that, Jeonghan hands one girl a box of cigarettes with a lollipop. Jisoo shakes his head in amused disbelief. His friend, really. Always the ladies’ man.

When the ladies left, Jisoo decides he’s bored, and the liquor store won’t have any customers this sunny afternoon. He whistles quietly as he walks the short distance to across the street—to Jeonghan’s store.

“Are you giving sweets to female customers again?” Jisoo asks in fake surprise, hands tucked in each of his pants’ pockets. “How sly of you.”

Jeonghan chuckles and fetches another lollipop from the bowl on the counter. “They were originally for the kids running errands for their dads, anyhow.” He placed his chin on his free hand, and with piercing, teasing eyes, he looks straight at Jisoo. “Here. Take it, kid.”

And maybe when Jisoo takes the candy, his face feels a little warm.

He doesn’t like being treated like a child.

* * *

“Hey, Jisoo,” Jeonghan quips. “I’m truly honored to be the only one you let in on the secret, but isn’t it better if you just let everybody know, too?” He puts both his elbows on the table and continues, “That you’re a lightweight.”

Jisoo jumps a little from his seat across the table that is crowded with a basket of bread, bowls of meals, and three huge bottles of alcohol. “That’s not happening! I’m a liquor store owner, you know!?”

Jeonghan just laughs lightly, a lit cigarette dangling between his lips as he speaks. “It’s not like a person’s occupation and their innate constitution are linked. You were just born with low alcohol tolerance.”

“Which is why I’m going through _intensive training _every night, so I can finally drink the same as other people,” Jisoo says with stubborn conviction. “I have to work!”

Amused, Jeonghan brings his cheek on the palm of his hand, elbow propped on the table. Jisoo’s worked up about little things. It’s almost a sin not to see it as adorable. “I wonder about that…”

The night is young. It’s just the two of them in Jisoo’s home having dinner because if they don’t have dinner together, Jeonghan complains that it’s too lonely eating by himself. And Jisoo has to deal with that for the rest of the night because his bedroom window is just across Jeonghan’s bedroom window. But now that Jisoo is undergoing _intensive training_ for his alcohol tolerance, having Jeonghan around helps (especially when he’s far too gone to go to bed on his own). They’re best friends for a reason.

Every night they sit by this window and have their dinner together. Jeonghan laughs when Jisoo gets too drunk after a glass of wine, and Jisoo, with the confidence of a child, brags about getting the hang of it before he passes out. It’s a nice spot in Jisoo’s house, beside the window. The cool night breeze is soothing—perfect right after the afternoon humid. Cicadas from a nearby tree are making that noise Jisoo finds annoying and Jeonghan finds calming. The silver moon shines brighter than the only warm street lamp near them.

And the fireflies… Fireflies are glinting in the darkness. Jisoo finds himself staring out the window, at the fireflies’ soft glow. They’re beautiful.

Jeonghan finds himself staring at Jisoo.

Until he sees a stack of unfamiliar albums just by Jisoo’s elbow on the table. “What are those albums for?”

“Oh, this?” That jolts Jisoo’s attention back to him. “Mom wants me to go through these albums. She told me to send some of granny’s photos over by the end of the month. She said she wants to make a memory scrapbook for her 80th birthday.”

Jeonghan hums, taking the cigarette from his lips between two fingers before blowing smoke. “Can I see it?”

Jisoo toughens his face at the prospect of showing Jeonghan the contents of the albums, but it only looks cute to Jeonghan with that small redness scattering over his cheeks. “Okay, but don’t laugh.”

Jisoo leans, hovering over the table with the album open in his hands. Jeonghan leans as well, and their heads bump a little, earning a pout on the younger’s lips and a laugh from Jeonghan, but that immediately left their minds when they saw the photos.

“Ooh,” Jisoo muses as he points at a picture of him with his childhood friends. “This kid is the one that moved away. What’s her name again?”

Jeonghan asks, “Jisoo, you used to like her right?”

“Wasn’t that you?” Jisoo scrunches his nose as he tries to remember, but Jeonghan gets distracted by photo after photo.

“Whoa, your father doesn’t have a beard here,” Jeonghan points at a picture of infant Jisoo being carried by a younger version of his father. And then his eyes drift to a photo of him and Jisoo. _Finally_. “Look, you’re wearing a cast in this one.”

“Where?”

“Here,” Jeonghan points at a photo of them. “You fractured your bone then.” Jeonghan was riding a bike, and Jisoo was sitting on the passenger seat at the tail of the bicycle with a leg wrapped in a cast propped up on another leg. Jeonghan was wearing a smile—the usual smile he has when he’s teasing. It’s not a bad smile. In fact, Jisoo thinks he’s handsome when he smiles like that, as if all problems are jokes, as if a Jisoo with a broken bone was not a burden to him at the time, at all. Jisoo feels his face warm at the thought.

He looks ugly in the photo. Jisoo had a broken bone and a snarl on his face (he remembers it hurting). Maybe that’s why—he’s probably just comparing his looks against Jeonghan’s.

“Ah, it was right before graduation ceremony, too—"

His heart stops when he looks at his side only to see Jeonghan staring at him, their faces so close to each other. He must have leaned too much, engrossed with what they’re looking at that he didn’t notice his own actions. Jeonghan doesn’t avert his eyes, nor does he blink. He just stares at Jisoo easily when he speaks, “You were trying to catch a stag beetle and you fell from the second floor, right? Your mom was so mad.”

They’re so close. He can see his lips move, words form as he speaks, but Jisoo can’t heart anything but his preoccupied mind. The smell of lavender shampoo…and cigarettes. _Jeonghan_.

He pulls back so suddenly that the chair scrapes and the album falls on the table face down. He just had two sips of wine, he can’t be drunk already. He raises his head to check on Jeonghan’s reaction if he made him uncomfortable—

“Jisoo-ah,” Jeonghan says his name slowly as he watches him closely with a gaze so firm Jisoo can’t move. “You were making a very erotic face just now.”

When Jisoo doesn’t respond quick enough, head clouded by a marathon of What just happened? Jeonghan continues, “Were you thinking something like ‘I’m probably fine with a guy as well’?”

“Huh!?” Jisoo lets his jaw fall at what he’s hearing. “Wh-what are you sayi—”

Jeonghan laughs at him lightly and leans back as well. He takes a swig from his bottle of beer and then says, “You know, there’s no need to keep such a secret from _this_ childhood friend.”

Of course, it’s a joke. Jisoo calms his heart down as he realizes it’s not that deep. Jeonghan is just really open about talking about these things and this shouldn’t be new to him anymore. Why was he so worked up?

Jeonghan is bisexual. He came out about his sexuality long ago, so everyone who knows him knows about him. That never stopped anyone from wanting him, anyway, despite Jisoo’s fear of the idea of his best friend facing persecution from prejudiced people.

Jisoo, on the other hand, is straight.

Or so he thinks.

“Is there a guy who’s making advances on you?” Jeonghan asks after a while of just watching Jisoo’s face get redder by the second. Jisoo quickly averts his gaze.

“N-no one is making advances on me!” He feels the weight of Jeonghan’s stare on him, and it creates a weird atmosphere that makes him fidget in his seat. He sits straight, eyes away from the man across him as he silently he prays. He prays to all the gods, ‘Don’t do it, Jeonghan. Don’t say anything weird.’

“Then,” Jeonghan leans in again, a finger coming up to point at himself. “What about me?”

He said it!

“How about me?” Jeonghan presses, and he seems to be intent on getting his message across as he leans in more, hands bracing him on the edge of the table. “I want to go steady with you.”

Jisoo turns his head further away, visibly trying his hardest to avoid looking at his friend who’s now saying random words that he can’t comprehend. His head feels like it’s going to explode. “What’re you saying all of a sudden!?”

“It’s not all of a sudden,” Jeonghan says, suddenly all calm and collected. Like he wasn’t blurting out other-worldly things just seconds ago. “You noticed it long ago, right? What kind of eyes I’ve been looking at you with.”

Jisoo frowns, eyes still stubbornly away from Jeonghan’s, and silently wishing for him to just stop staring.

“Jisoo…”

“W-what are you saying!? You know I had a girlfriend just recently,” Jisoo says, trembling a little. He doesn’t know what to do. His thoughts are all over the place. “Also, you and I are childhood friends.” Jisoo blows a puff of air to at least release the tension in his chest. “Not to mention, there’s _that_, right!?”

Jeonghan hums in question and tilts his head a little.

But what Jisoo says next sends his mind in a frenzy.

“The-the top and b-bottom when it comes to male b-b-bonding? The so-called compatibility, isn’t there something like that?” Jisoo spits out one after another. He notices Jeonghan’s surprised face gradually turns amused and this turn of events is confusing him further. “Well, n-not like I really know anything about it!”

“Hmm?” Jeonghan leans back on his seat again, visibly relaxing as Jisoo grows more flustered. “I’m a top, but since you are a total bottom, I see no issues here.”

“Who are you calling a total bottom!?”

Without thinking, Jisoo gets up from his seat and urges Jeonghan to do the same. He tries to push him towards the door, heaving a little as he puts force on his pushing. Jeonghan’s a lot stronger than he looks. “Ugh! That’s enough. Just go home for today!”

“What?” Jeonghan whines. “It’s only nine o’clock, y’know.”

Jisoo’s pushing is successful as he got Jeonghan out at the porch. “That’s fine. Just leave. I gotta wake up early tomorrow!”

And maybe Jisoo thought he won. He thought too soon.

Jeonghan maneuvers them and grabs ahold of Jisoo’s hand in a split second, startling the living life from the disoriented boy.

“I want you to seriously think about the topic we had earlier,” he says with solemn eyes. So sudden yet so full of sincerity, and Jisoo has no choice but to find himself lost in them. “Don’t reply immediately. It’s fine if you take your time. I want to hear good news.”

With those words, Jeonghan moves forward, and Jisoo feels warm lips on his. Jeonghan’s eyes are closed and his face is so, so close to his. His tongue swiped in between Jisoo’s lips, but before Jisoo could react (pull back or kiss back—he will never know), Jeonghan is gone with only a _goodnight_.

No, Jeonghan wasn’t really gone. He’s walking towards his own home, his own store from across the street. But Jisoo couldn’t see his back as he retreats because he has his eyes closed, an unbelieving hand cupping his mouth.

_He… He just kissed my lips!_

Jisoo rushes to his room, closing the window as fast as he can but not before watching Jeonghan, with their bedroom windows facing each other, prepare for bed and take off his shirt and hum as if nothing happened. He knows if he gets caught staring, he’ll never hear the end of it, so he closes the window with a silent click.

He climbs onto his bed, tired and a bit woozy over everything that just happened. His face feels like it’s going to explode anytime soon, too. Then he noticed he has the album in his hands. He must have brought it with him in a hurry.

Jisoo opens it to that page, to where there’s a picture of him and Jeonghan.

Aside from his low alcohol tolerance, he has another secret.

That last summer in high school was the turning point where he began to feel…curious feelings for Jeonghan.

His childhood friend.

Who’s also a guy like him.

He never felt anything for any guy other than him.

Jeonghan and Jisoo attended the same school from kindergarten until the end of high school. _Inseparable_, others would tell them, _you two are just inseparable_.

When they started high school, Jeonghan shot up, his growth spurt surpassing Jisoo’s. He physically matured earlier that Jisoo, and he still remembers the times he was teased for being Jeonghan’s _elf_. But it wasn’t just the body that changed. Jeonghan’s voice, too, suddenly became deep. It changed to that of a man. Deep and velvety, like rich black coffee from his breath. Like the smell of lavender and cigarettes.

From then on, be it at school or wherever… Jeonghan has always been the most popular guy. Before and even after he came out as bisexual.

_Jeonghan_…

Jeonghan is the center of people’s worlds, whether they know it or not.

This picture of them—Jeonghan looked happy. Jisoo fractured his leg the summer before graduation because he’s a stubborn little dunce who just got too distracted by a stag beetle. But Jeonghan, without a single word of complaint, let Jisoo sit on the back of his bicycle every day to school and took great care of him, one way or another. Jisoo remembers Jeonghan carrying him on his back, too. He felt really embarrassed, being a dead weight to his best friend, but Jeonghan was too jolly, too happy doing all those for him that he couldn’t stop him even if he wanted to (except he didn’t want to since Jeonghan’s back was strong and wide and comfortable and reassuring to injured Jisoo).

“The girls got so jealous of me,” Jisoo mumbles to himself as he buries his head in his pillow, remembering all the _get down there, Jisoo_ and _carry me, too, Jeonghan_. “So annoying.”

But that wasn’t it. That wasn’t the moment that changed it all.

_It was on another day. He was about to leave the classroom, struggling with his crutches because he just can’t be carried again in the hallway by the popular guy. Jeonghan will get swarmed by girls again and Jisoo will feel like a heavy burden. And besides, it’s not Jeonghan’s responsibility to carry him around to wherever he needs to go. Jisoo needs to work hard for himself, too._

_“You alone, Jisoo-hyung?” Mingyu asks from behind him. Mingyu is a good friend of theirs, always willing to help, but he’s always doing something as well, so Jisoo doesn’t see him often._

_Jisoo smiles and nods at him, twisting his body to face Mingyu a little, but not so much because the crutches only let him move a little. _

_“How unusual,” Mingyu hums. “Where’s Jeonghan-hyung?”_

_“I can take care of myself though,” Jisoo insists. “That guy is just a worrywart.”_

_“Alrighty then!” Before Jisoo could react, Mingyu lifts him off his feet, an arm on his back and another, hooking behind his knees, as if Jisoo’s weight means nothing to him. “Today, I’ll be the one taking you home.”_

_The way Mingyu declared it is so absurd to Jisoo’s ears. But while he’s a little flustered, he can’t help the giggle that comes out of him. Mingyu is probably trying to use him as a substitute for his weight-lifting. “Don’t be silly—I’m fine, really!” He tries to argue, but Mingyu’s just laughing at his reaction as he carries him as if Jisoo’s nothing but a pillow. “Don’t do pointless things like him, too!”_

_“Jisoo!” A voice sounding so much like Jeonghan’s calls out from behind them. Mingyu turns them around, and Jisoo, hooking an arm on Mingyu’s neck in fear of falling, greets a calm-looking Jeonghan with a question._

_“Have you finished the errand for the teacher?”_

_“Right,” Jeonghan distractedly replies, looking straight at Mingyu with his arms open. “Please hand him over gently.”_

_Mingyu halts for a second and then nods with a knowing smile as if he just understood a complex equation. “Fine, fine. I got it, Jeonghan-hyung.”_

_“Thanks,” Jeonghan says with a smile that Jisoo suspects so much. Mingyu hands him to Jeonghan as if he’s a piece of paper, and just like that… Jeonghan is carrying him again despite his plans of leaving early enough to not burden him anymore._

_They walked away, and Jisoo waved goodbye to Mingyu. Jeonghan adjusts him a little so that he’s in his arms comfortably._

_“I bet he was going to use me as a dumbbell,” Jisoo jokes with a laugh._

_“No, Jisoo,” Jeonghan says patiently. “Don’t you see?”_

_“See what?” Jisoo asks, distracted by how Jeonghan’s eyes are becoming more serious as they speak._

_“He just wanted to hold you,” Jeonghan tells him. “Jisoo-ah, please never let anyone else hold you again.”_

_An expression of jealousy mixed with insecurity was painted on his face. _

_“Okay? You understand?”_

_It was the first time Jisoo saw Jeonghan looking like that._

_“Y-Yeah."_

At that moment…

His existence within Jisoo’s life slipped slightly from the place called “a normal childhood friend.”

And it was also then when Jisoo first noticed that Jeonghan did not look at him as a mere childhood friend.

_Do I really have an inclination to that side? But, so far I’ve only fallen in love with girls…it’s only with him that I… _were Jisoo’s thoughts before his body shuts down and he submits to the seduction of sleep.

* * *

“Ugh,” Jisoo groans and heaves a heavy sigh. It’s too hot today, and he just climbed seven flights of stairs for one delivery. “Curse home deliveries! A pain in the—”

He stops when he notices a poster.

2019

**UVAS**

_Festival de la cosecha_

“Ah, the grape harvest festival is coming up again, huh,” he mumbles. “In other words, the usual hateful gathering…”

“Jisoo! Hyung!”

Jisoo turns around to connect the voice to a familiar face. “Hao!”

“Hey,” Minghao, looking slightly too fashionable in this hot weather with a silk scarf and a huge hat, gestures at the poster. Despite how icky he looks and feels in his sweaty tank top and outdated cargo shorts, he can’t help feeling relieved he’s not wearing what this guy’s wearing under the scorching sun.

Minghao glances at the poster and back at Jisoo. “You’ll join this year right?”

“Huh?” Jisoo asks with a horrible look on his face. He doesn’t like where this is going. “Join what?”

“Y’know what I mean,” Minghao rolls his eyes. “The wine-tasting contest of the harvest festival that’ll take place next month. You’re a liquor store owner, but I’ve never seen you participated.”

“And why,” Jisoo stresses as he brings a hand to his waist. “Would I participate in something like that?”

“Why not? There’s this ironclad rule since long ago that calls for the participation of all liquor store owners, don’t you know?” Minghao looks at him with open disdain. “Are you breaking our ironclad tradition? _Huh_?”

“W-Well, idiot, if I go there, then who’ll tend to my store during that time!? What about that?”

“That store is dead in the water,” Minghao says so easily as if he doesn’t intend to offend at all. “Nobody goes there. Just close it already. There’s no need for two liquor stores on the same street.”

“The hell are you saying!?” Jisoo’s ears are producing smoke if one goes by the redness of his face. “What a cocky meanie for a newcomer! You’re the one who stole my customers away!”

“What stealing?” Minghao scratches his chin as if he’s thinking deeply, but Jisoo knows he’s just trying to spite him further. “I did no such thing. Isn’t it because I’m well-versed in booze that customers just come flooding in? It’s only natural since I’m last year’s winner of the wine tasting contest.”

Jisoo is fuming, his face is scrunched up with all the frustration of just talking to this braggart!

“Ahh, it’s fine, though. You don’t really have to join. After all, I’m going to win again.” Minghao baits him_. Bite the hook, hyung. Bite the hook_. “Your participation will make _nooo_ difference at all.”

And with that, Jisoo explodes, “_Fiiine_! I just have to join that wine-tasting contest, right!? Don’t you think you can win this year!” Jisoo runs away after saying his piece, leaving a thoroughly amused Minghao behind.

_Oh, Jisoo-hyung_, Minghao thinks as he watches Jisoo’s panicked figure run away from him. _You’re so easy to work up._

* * *

_Idiot_.

_Idiot_!

_I’m an idiot! What should I do!? I obviously can’t participate in a wine-tasting contest. The whole town will find out about my secret!_

“Ugh,” Jisoo groans, bowing his head on the countertop with a thud. “I’ve gotta do something.”

He glances at the window and sees Jeonghan behind his store’s counter as well, reading a book as he sways his head lightly to whatever tune he’s humming.

_Damn Jeonghan humming to himself_, Jisoo thinks, blowing his cheeks in annoyance. _Don’t you know I’m in trouble? Ugh. Branding me as a total bottom, too._

“_Total_ _bottom_,” he enunciates out loud, and quickly he shakes his head like a madman, turning his back from the counter to talk to the bottles of liquor on the shelves behind him. “Absolutely not! There’s no way I’m a bottom!”

If that were even true… If Jisoo is really a bottom, then it’s Jeonghan’s fault!

A burning gaze from someone as fine as Jeonghan.

The sweet feeling from being delicately handled.

_“Jisoo-ah, please never let anyone else hold you again.”_

At that time, Jeonghan planted a feeling in him.

Maybe that feeling is one of him being a bottom, but what does he know? He has never been a bottom in his life.

_What do bottoms even do? He looked at me like that one day and made me feel like a bottom? Am I feeling…bottom? Why does it matter so much? What makes him say I’m a total bottom?_

_And because of the mental impact from seeing such a gentle expression from him despite his strong and firm character,_ Jisoo tries to reason with himself as he arranges the haphazardly placed bottles on the shelves. _I ended up realizing this feeling I didn’t even ask for…_

_This is all his fault!_

The last bottle on the top shelf wobbles a little, and Jisoo reaches out to catch it before it does, but a hand beats him to it.

With a startled gasp, his eyes trace the hand to the owner, and he turns around to face him. “Jeonghan!”

“Sorry,” Jeonghan says, towering over Jisoo, smelling like tobacco and freshly laundered clothes. “Did I startle you?”

As Jeonghan places the bottle back to safety, Jisoo, feeling a little cornered, leans back against the shelf. Jeonghan is too close again. “Thanks,” Jisoo says in all the volume he could muster, but knowing how close he is to him, how his scent reaches Jisoo’s nose, it comes out a whisper.

“Y-You,” Jisoo says, clearing his throat a little when it comes out too shaky for his ears. “You should have called out, you idiot.”

“Sorry ‘bout that,” Jeonghan grins. He hands him a paper, but… still too close. “Here’s a circular notice for the event.”

Jisoo can’t focus—not when Jeonghan is so close like this. Sharp features making him look strong and valiant, broad shoulders, muscular chest…

And those eyes. Those gentle eyes that contradict all sharpness and definition. Those serene eyes that always, always, tell Jisoo he’s in good hands.

_There’s probably mountains of girls that would ask him to embrace them._

“-soo? Jisoo,” Jeonghan’s voice fades in, his face right in front of Jisoo’s, the tip of their noses touching. Jisoo jerks from surprise. “You’re making _that_ face again.”

“H-Huh—”

Jeonghan braces his hands on the shelves on both Jisoo’s sides. He’s now truly cornered, Jeonghan mighty towering over him, and Jisoo’s heart quickens at the idea of him being underneath Jeonghan like this. He looks up, never leaves Jeonghan’s eyes, and maybe… just maybe… he can get used to this.

_I did not just think that!_

“You’re so full of openings. I don’t think I’ll be able to hold back like this before I hear your answer.”

Jisoo’s palms turn clammy, his hands just awkwardly at his sides—unmoving because he doesn’t know what to do with them. “H-Hold back? From what?”

“Jisoo, I’m saying this because you seem to be agonizing over your own concept of love,” Jeonghan says, tipping Jisoo’s head a little with a finger under his chin. “But I think you’ll probably be fine with it if it’s a person you truly like, regardless of their gender.”

Jeonghan moves his hand, gently, to Jisoo’s cheek, and even if Jisoo tries to stop himself, he eventually leans to the touch. Jeonghan’s eyes light up and he slowly closes their distance as he mutters, “You actually know it deep inside, right?”

Jeonghan tilts his head, ready to take Jisoo’s mouth with his, and for some reason, Jisoo automatically shuts his eyes and opens his lips a little. He doesn’t know why, but the feeling of Jeonghan’s breath ghosting over his lips is making him do all these… making his body respond in a way he tries to deny.

A knock, too loud for its own good, interrupts them, sending Jisoo into a frenzy and Jeonghan backing away three steps further. “Jisoo! Are you in today?”

Junhui, one of his friends, innocently comes in the store holding an empty bottle. “Ooh! There you are. Do you have tequila?”

“Y-Yeah,” Jisoo says in a small voice, mousy and nervous.

_Oh noooooooooo! That was so close! So close! Very close! Seriously close!_

Jeonghan walks to the door where Junhui is and taps the newcomer on the shoulder as a greeting. He walks out of the store with only a wink directed to Jisoo. As if nothing happened. As if they weren’t just about to…

Just about to… kiss.

Jisoo’s heart feels like a balloon that has been popped too many times a day.

He never thought he’d say this but, “I could use a drink.”

Junhui chimes in, distracting him from his anxious thoughts, waving the empty bottle in the air to catch Jisoo’s attention. “Same, bro. Where’s the tequila?”

* * *

The town plaza is empty at around four o’clock except for a few locals who jog around the place. Jisoo can also spot an ice cream vendor closing her parlor, but that’s about it. People are slowly disappearing, retreating back to their homes because that’s just how it is on a normal night in this small town. Everyone’s home by sundown, everyone’s back to their families as soon as they can.

Jisoo is found at the heart of the town plaza, the fountain. He sits just at the edge of the fountain with two beer bottles next to him. The beer label says 10% alcohol content on it, and Jisoo knows that’s going to be more than what he can handle.

But Jeonghan really opened his heart and swirled the contents around with a spoon. He can’t let this pass.

“Ah, impossible,” he says to the wind. “I have no courage to face him today.”

He takes the bottle and gulps what he can, but as he closes his eyes the scene replays. Jeonghan inching closer. Jisoo himself drawing his lips open for him. The resounding beating of his heart in his chest…

“Whoa!” Joshua slaps both hands on his burning face, stomping aggressively on the pavement like a maniac. He feels steam come out of his ears. Jeonghan’s _super_ close face doesn’t leave the back of his eyelids. He’s just… etched there now.

_Am I bisexual, after all? _

_Or it’s just because it’s Jeonghan?_

Jisoo thinks deep about it since it’s not really _that_ improbable. _What if it’s another man? _

More importantly… _What if the customer didn’t disturb us then?_

_No! Stop! I knew it. It’s impossible to imagine what can come after that_, Jisoo keeps telling himself.

“Oh, isn’t it Jisoo-hyung?” Minghao’s voice makes Jisoo jump from his seat. “What’re you doing here?”

“H-Hao.”

“Drinking alone, huh,” Minghao snorts. “Hey, stop forcing yourself. You can’t even drink.”

Jisoo’s face crumples in offense. His voice raises a little when he exclaims, “What—Who says I can’t drink!?”

“Did you really think you’ve managed to hide it?” Minghao sits next to Jisoo even without an invitation, raising a hand and flicking the older’s forehead. Jisoo lets out a soft _Ow!_ and rubs the sore spot in the middle of his head. “All the pitiful excuses you give every drinking party—Stomachache, working overtime—that kind of crap.”

Well.

What can Jisoo say against that? He’s aware his excuses are all horse pucky, thank you very much.

“Anyway, you can’t drink both bottles, can you?” Minghao says, grabbing the unopened bottle of beer and the opener. “Gimme one.”

Jisoo can only groan, stomping his feet three times more until he just gives up completely. He puts his head in his hands and grumbles, “Damn it. This is a nightmare… of all people—! Why’s it gotta be you?”

“Don’t cry over something like that. It’s uncool, man.”

“What?”

Minghao takes a swig of the drink. “It’s not like you can’t enjoy yourself just because you can’t drink a lot.”

Jisoo gasps and voices out, “R—”

Minghao raises an eyebrow in question.

“RIGHT!? I actually understand the booze tastes, y’know!?” Jisoo opens his palms in front of him as if that will prove his point. “I think I can at least drink until I figure out the differences between good and bad wine, y’know!? I don’t have to empty the barrel!”

Minghao deadpans, “If we’re talking about the wine-tasting contest, you’ll have to drink a load for that though.”

Jisoo stays frozen like that, palms out, eyebrow twitching a little in realization. Minghao just shrugs and chugs the rest of the beer. Weak beer, in his opinion.

“Oh well,” Minghao grunts as he stands up, the bottle of beer now empty. “Do the best you can.”

“Okay,” Jisoo sulks.

“Still, isn’t it bothersome?” Minghao pries further as he stretches his limbs. “Shouldn’t you just come out with the truth already? It’ll make your life easier, don’t you think?”

Jisoo weakens at the word. “…the truth?”

“Even though you’re a liquor store owner, you’re so darn stubborn.” Minghao shakes his head as he turns to go. “I guess it can’t be helped since you can’t even drink. Thanks for the treat.”

“So annoying!” Annoyed, Jisoo calls out when Minghao starts walking away. “Don’t tell anyone!”

Minghao just whistles without looking back, his voice sounding distant. “Send me bribes!”

* * *

Jeonghan glances at the window in front of his. Nothing.

No one’s in Jisoo’s house now.

It’s lonely.

But Jeonghan shrugs the feeling off, choosing to sit by his window with a lit cigarette dangling in between his lips, waiting for Jisoo to come back. Waiting for any signs of Jisoo.

Just waiting for Jisoo. As long as it’s Jisoo.

He hears rustling from below, and as if his prayers were answered, Jisoo is scraping the bottom of his shoes on the ground, clearly trying to make his way to his home, but he’s wobbling too much to function.

_Oh, dear. He’s drunk._

Jeonghan presses the cigarette on the ashtray, killing the blaze. He rushes downstairs as fast as he can in an attempt to stop the younger from falling face flat on the concrete ground.

“Jisoo,” he says to get his attention. Jisoo’s red face can be seen under the dim moonlight, and Jeonghan can make out the moment of recognition in his face.

_Adorable_.

“_Oh_~” Jisoo sing-songs with a giggle. “_Jeonghannie_~”

He wobbles more, almost tripping and falling, but Jeonghan is quick to grab him to steady him.

“Were you drinking alone?” Jeonghan asks as Jisoo falls face first on his chest. “Whoa, you’ve gotten so drunk already.”

Jeonghan wraps his arms around the younger’s shoulders, and Jisoo snuggles his face on the soft material of Jeonghan’s tee shirt. “M’fine…m’fine.”

“Can you walk? Shall I carry you?” Jeonghan presses his lips on Jisoo’s hair as he speaks. He almost tastes the grapefruit of his shampoo. 

Jisoo is silent for a minute, ignoring Jeonghan’s question. Jeonghan feels his attempts to blow raspberries on his chest, sighing loudly when he finally realizes he can’t.

Jeonghan is just completely enamored by this precious person.

“Jeonghan?” Jisoo says after a while of him in Jeonghan’s arms in the middle of the empty, dark street, surrounded by the gleam of only the fireflies.

“Hmm?”

“Do you…” Jisoo hiccups, burying his face further in Jeonghan’s chest and wrapping is arms around Jeonghan’s waist. “…touch men and women differently?”

“_Huh_?” Jeonghan coughs, taken aback by how adorable he’s becoming right now. “Why do you ask suddenly?”

“Do you touch girls in a sexier way? Are you different when your partners are guys?” Jisoo’s voice is muffled by Jeonghan’s shirt, but he can hear him just fine.

Jeonghan chuckles, a hand going to the back of Jisoo’s head to press him impossibly closer while the other secures around his shoulder. He buries his nose in the younger’s hair, finding his peace in such a bizarre place. “It’s the same. When it comes to an important person, be they a man or a woman, I’ll touch them gently.

“And right now,” Jeonghan continues. “I’m touching you in the gentlest way.”

“Even though you’re so popular,” Jisoo pouts, but it ends up with his lips just pressing on Jeonghan’s pectorals. “I haven’t seen you together with anyone lately…

“Is it because of me?”

He asks so innocently, Jeonghan can’t help telling the truth. “That’s right,” he whispers, but Jisoo hears it as clearly as he hears the pounding of his heart.

“Jeonghan…” Jisoo starts, sounding soberer. He hooks his arms around Jeonghan’s neck, prompting the older to hold him by the waist instead. “I know that my view of gender is conservative and obsolete—so much that even _I_ am agonized by it.

“And even when I face my own feelings, I can’t do it as straightforwardly and as boldly as you. Even if I… Even if I l-liked you—”

“Wait.” Jeonghan pulls them apart to take a good look at Jisoo’s face. His eyes are glinting, and even with the light of a hundred fireflies around them, nothing’s more beautiful than Jisoo himself.

“Eh?”

“Didn’t I ask you not to reply immediately?” Jeonghan softly presses a kiss on his forehead when he sees a red mark in the middle. Jisoo must’ve hit himself somewhere again.

“Why _not_?” It sounds like a whine. Like music in Jeonghan’s ears.

Like he can’t contain himself any longer.

“Before you do anything, why don’t we have a trial?”

Jisoo just looks at him dumbly, intoxicated state unable to fully comprehend words. “_Trial_?”

“Isn’t it fine if we try going out as a test?” Jeonghan says, hope filling his voice as he cards a hand through Jisoo’s hair. “To see whether you can accept a man. Or if you can fall in love with me?”

Jisoo only looks at him, tries to read his eyes. They look hopeful. They look sad.

He’s too drunk for this.

“If you think it’s impossible, after all,” Jeonghan continues, stepping back to give the younger space. “Then I’ll give up.”

At that, Jisoo gasps quietly. He opens his mouth as if he’s about to say something but… nothing. Not a word comes out.

“And my long unrequited love will, then, come to an end.” Jeonghan smiles, but it does not reach his eyes. He smiles but his voice breaks. He smiles, but Jisoo can’t see happiness in it. “So… until I receive an answer from you, can we try to be closer? It’s alright if we go slowly—step by step.”

Jisoo bows his head swimming in thoughts and 10% alcohol. He can’t help but voice out his inner dilemma. _What am I supposed to do now?_ “B-But—Using you as a guinea pig—Just to test it out—”

“I’m perfectly fine with it,” Jeonghan interjects. He steps forward again, closing the distance between them by wrapping an arm around the younger’s waist again, one hand cupping his cheek. “If there’s any chance for you to consider me, I’ll take it.”

Their lips are a breath apart again, and Jisoo’s head swirls in Jeonghan’s scent and beauty. “Hold on—I’m super drunk right now—”

“In that case,” Jeonghan mumbles as he presses their lips together, Jisoo’s mouth opening upon contact. He smiles slightly, slipping his tongue in Jisoo, tasting his sweet. Jeonghan feels arms around his neck, pulling him closer, pushing their mouths together. It’s breathless—kissing Jisoo, being with Jisoo. It always feels like someone knocked the air out of him and he’s addicted to the feeling.

Jisoo wasn’t about to let him go, and it took him time before he could pull away and finish his sentence.

“You can blame it all on the alcohol,” Jeonghan says through his panting when he finally found a chance to pull away.

Jisoo nods impatiently. His lips chase Jeonghan’s again as he pulls them flush together, and for the second time tonight, he feels all the right in what he thought could be wrong for him.

Jeonghan swears he could feel Jisoo’s racing heart on his own.

* * *

Most days, Jisoo appreciates the light of the sun, the chirping birds, the heat from Jeonghan’s sleeping body beside him…

_Jeonghan beside me!?_

His eyes open fully, adjusting to the light from the window and the abrupt awakening. Jisoo looks down only to realize he’s not wearing anything except for a pair of bowers that… he doesn’t… recognize…

_This is Jeonghan’s!_

He grudgingly looks beside him and displayed in front of him is Jeonghan’s naked broad back in all its sexy glory. The man is still sleeping soundly, even with Jisoo panicking like an ant next to him.

He just… doesn’t remember anything after the kiss.

_The kiss_, Jisoo recalls as the heat creeps up from his cheeks to his neck.

“JEONGHAN!” He yells in frustration, stirring the man awake from his slumber.

“H-Huh?” Jeonghan mumbles, eyes refusing to open. “M’rnin’, Soo. Is your hangover okay?”

“Where are m-my clothes!?” Jisoo asks, hands shooting up to cover his exposed nipples. “And my u-underwear!? Why am I wearing yours!?”

Jeonghan sits up still with his eyes closed. He hates the morning sun so much—it burns the retinas. When he sits up, the blanket over his stomach dips down, exposing the defined trail of muscles towards his…

Jisoo can’t take his eyes off it.

And then it clicks in his goop of a brain.

_Jeonghan sleeps naked._

“Yeah,” Jeonghan says after a while, completely unaware of Jisoo mentally freaking out beside him. He takes a cigarette from the drawer beside his bed, placing it between his lips routinely. “I changed your clothes because you stank of booze.”

“My-My underwear!?”

“Ah. You were soaking wet down there and it was drying. I figured you won’t sleep comfortably with that.” Jeonghan fumbles lazily, searching for something to right his cigarette with his eyes barely open. “I need a match.”

“S-Soaking wet down there…?” Jisoo squeaks, face looking like a bloated tomato. “Where?”

Jeonghan stops fumbling and rubs his eyes, and when he fully opens them, he’s greeted by the younger’s flustered face.

What a great sight to wake up to.

“You felt so much from the kiss,” Jeonghan says as he stands up to go to the bathroom. The blanket falls from the rest of his body and Jisoo immediately closes his eyes despite getting a glance of how…big Jeonghan is already. “I’m so happy!”

_There’s no way someone’s that big even when not hard!._

“Oh, it’s alright,” Jeonghan says lovingly, mussing Jisoo’s hair when he doesn’t react quick enough. “I didn’t do anything.”

He retreats to the bathroom, and when the door shuts with a click, Jisoo slumps on the bed like a withering leaf.

He just woke up and yet it has already been a long day for him.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> This fic is actually the plot of the manga Liquor & Cigarette by Zaria. I do not claim the plot :) I just wanted to see Jeonghan and Jisoo as the characters because... I'm bored.
> 
> Also this is going to have an open ending :) I hope that's fine.
> 
> Anyway, if you liked that, please leave a comment or a kudos :) Let me know your thoughts pleeeease! I like hearing from readers :>>>
> 
> Yell at me here:  
[curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/shuquishy)  
[twitter](https://twitter.com/shuanime%E2%80%9D%20rel=)
> 
> also im trying to save up and quarantine isn't making that too easy for me soooo my [fanfic com mis sions](https://ao3-shuanime.carrd.co) are open if you’re interested! comeesh me ♡ 
> 
> you can also buy me a cup of [[coffee](https://ao3-shuanime.carrd.co/#ko-fi%E2%80%9D%20rel=)] as support (only if it’s coming from the goodness of your heart hehe please don’t feel pressured!)


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